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We understand what it is to risk the very foundation that you stand on in order to build a new life for yourself. We know that it is one of the most stressful things that you will ever experience and at times you wonder if you will make it through without being completely broken.

During this time, it is important to understand that it takes two to create a relationship and it takes just as many to bring it down. In order to grow, it is our first responsibility to look at ourselves in order to understand why we were involved in the relationship and what it is that we can take from it in terms of life lessons to become a better person.

Lisa Lawless

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
Author & Speaker
Psychotherapist
Founder Of Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

 


We all play a role in the reality that we create for ourselves and recognizing that is the first step toward realizing that we can create a better reality for ourselves when we are ready to do it. Granted this can take blood, sweat and tears to do, but nonetheless, it is up to us to take personal responsibility for our lives. After all, when you are unhappy, you need to first look in the mirror at the person running the show in your life.

That is not to say that our partners are responsible for the pain that they inflict; they should be held accountable for their own actions. It is important to understand, however, that while we cannot control other people, we can control our reactions to people. Establishing healthy boundaries, goals and expectations is crucial. Too often we look to other people to save us from our miseries. Our fantasies are often so unrealistic it is almost impossible for a partner to live up to them. Creating a realistic vision for what it is we are comfortable with and how we see a partner working with us is a major foundational key in any future relationship.

The best tip that we can give is to act with healthy boundaries while showing behavior that demonstrates integrity. When we are cruel or unfair to others it damages our own sense of self. It is a gift you give yourself when you can hold your head high and know that you played your hand in a fair and ethical manner.


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